Ladies, I know you love your man, and sometimes you want to let the world know you love your man, but that does not mean you need to wear his dusty wife beater with your dingy bra hanging out. It's not cute. You aren't Carrie and he's not Big.
Ladies, some of us are thicker than others and we all love our curves. We embrace our curves in all their forms. However, if when you put on your jeans, you look like a sausage, go up a size or three. It's okay. We don't need to know the number on the inside of your tag. You are littering the eye-scape with those jeans that cut you off in three places and make you look like a walking advertisement for Monistat. In fact, if you loosen those tight jeans, that might help with your attitude problem. Also, when you decide to wear that flimsy dress do a little test. Stand with your back towards a full length mirror, look behind and jump up and down a few times, if when you stop your jelly keeps on moving, you need a layering garment. Invest in some Spanx. They are Beyonce's and Kim Kardashian's best friend. Walmart and Target have off-brand versions.
In addition, pajama pants are called pajama pants for a reason. They are to wear to bed not to Safeway or Giant, not to the Book Thing or the Farmers Market, not on the bus and definitely not to your child's school. And as we discuss items of clothing that don't belong in the street, let's talk about your hair. There are hairdressers on just about every corner of this city, along with a church and a liquor store. The only reason we should know you just got your hair done is because it looks nice. We should not have to look at your pin curls or coke can rollers or half-done tracks. Please do better.
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